Minecraft. You’re some blocky person that punches trees made out of pixels and you kill dead people, spiders, and giant green penises that blow up
Dead Space. You’re an engineer, and your dead girlfriend is clingy and attacks you.
Shadow of the Colossus. You’re this little guy running around in this empty space looking for these giants to kill, just to revive your dead girlfriend lolz
sonic Riders: Hedgehogs and birds racing on flying skateboards.
Bulletstorm, you shoot people and do tricks by kicking and hitting them with a glowing stick
Resident Evil 4, You travel to the boondocks to find a whiny bitch only to end up infected as a hooker in red attempts to save your life.
You pay a dollar to listen to crap J-Pop from some fluorescent light lined speakers. Jump around like an idiot too. In public. Don’t forget deodorant. Then you put more money in.
Devil May Cry 3
You’re some whiny half-demon emo who wants his mommy. You walk around some tower until demons show up and shoot them like a coward unless they get close to you, forcing you to blindly wave your weapons until they feel pity for you and kill themselves to save themselves the trouble. Also your brother is voiced by that power ranger no one remembers.
Kingdom Hearts: It’s up to 2 underage teens to fight off something that could potentially destroy the universe. They are only motivated to do this because of a cardboard cutout love interest who plays no other role than to be the damsel in distress. Oh, let’s not forget that one of these teens is traveling with 2 anthropomorphic animals; a psychopath duck and a sharp-as-a-spoon canine. The trio proceeds to use their magical love and friendship powers to fight off the baddies. Does it not seem weird to this kid that pantless ducks and 6ft dogs are interacting with him? Hm, guess it’s not the weirdest thing since their ship is made out of gummy bears that run on “smiles and no sad faces."
Can’t wait to see what happens in the 3rd sequel that is set to release 12+ years after the original, but not before seeing the filler-games in between.


