So I was recording earlier to take my mind off the fact that I wanted to throw up again….it didn’t work and I just broke down crying while recording. Then my sister called me a few minutes later giving me 3hrs of advice, and she attempted to speak directly to my subconscious telling it to piss the fuck off and let me be well again. Every symptom i’m having is psychosemantic, meaning physical problems caused by the mind thinking it’s still sick. My doctor called it a form of PTSD stemming from an excessive amount of medical trauma. This is the hardest thing to battle because you cant just take a pill to make it go away like everything else. You NEED to tell your subconscious that you’re not sick and to stop making you feel sick.
My sister’s advice: Write down every potential worry that’s bothering me and answer each with “That’s bullshit!” and explain why it’s bullshit. This was what I came up with.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get through my audios today, but if I recorded in this mental state, none of it would be genuine. Please be patient with me while I figure shit out…
~Lexxi~



