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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
asklalalexxi

New Year wrap up! NEW YEAR WRAP UP! Let’s finish this shitty old year! :)

asklalalexxi


I can definitely say that this year has been…interesting. It’s had its ups and super downs. But I’m REALLY happy I made it through all that’s happened to see another year. I’m still going through some rough remnants of the medical bullshit from February, but I’m really really hoping it disappears in 2016 and I can go back to eating like a normal human again.

Year Highlights:

  • Lexxi learns of her reoccurring insecurities and fixes quite a few, including: not giving so much of a shit what people think about her, being more present for her friends, and looking more on the bright side of things when shit gets rough
  • Lexxi gets dangerously sick for the first half of the year, which still lingers to this day because of the demon paste known as Vegemite.(EVIL EVIL EVIL!!!!!!!)
  • Lexxi went through hell and back to finally find a career that suits her
  • Lexxi learns how to pay bills like an adult
  • Lexxi gets her “wings” and has no regrets ;)

Taking a moment to acknowledge the people who didn’t make it to this new year due to circumstances outside of their power. Some of these people didn’t see it coming. Just goes to show tomorrow is NEVER guaranteed, so live today like it’s your last. Now EVERYONE take my hoof, take a deep breath, and lets trot into 2016 bringing only new lessons we’ve learned in the previous year!!!

asklalalexxi

Sex in a nutshell

asklalalexxi

I’ve wished this so many times in my life. I really REALLY wish people would be more accepting of the multitude of fetishes that surround us every day. Milfs, incest, amputee, farts, watersports, feet, ect. It’s really not fair for people to judge somepony based on what gets them off in the bedroom. If it’s not unwillingly hurting anyone, then I believe it shouldn’t matter! 

Actually the whole biological concept of sex is pretty sick itself if you think about it:  “Come here baby, lemme stick the smelly organ I use to pee into the soggy wrinkly opening where a fetus and sometimes fish-smelling blood comes out. Then lemme use my germ-infested tongue to slobber all over the place where you pee from, even though you most likely didn’t have time to shower before this, and you probably peed an hour before I stuck my tongue here. Also I’m proooobably going to give you a yeast infection later due to the mixture of unidentifiable juices coating these sensitive areas. Why stop there? Next I’ll use this same saliva-vaggie-juice tongue to lick the interior of your asshole, which, again, you most likely didn’t wash immediately beforehand because you just got off work and I couldn’t hold in my urge to dick something, so it’s probably sweaty and still partially being invaded by bits of feces and toilet paper clings. But wait THERE’S MOAR! I’m gonna use my sweaty, man-meat that was just inside your salty babymaker to force its way into this dung covered opening, encountering more yummy shit inside because I was too horny to wait for you to use an enema. Oh wait, it wont fit after I got it wet earlier? I don’t have lube, so I’ll gather a huge wad of germy, vaggie, shit, soup in my mouth and spit it onto your asshole. Mouthwash? No time for that shit! I’m HORNY as fuck!  Finally lemme spray my warm, urine-infused, liquid into your mouth for your thousands of tastebuds to enjoy; maybe get some of it on your face so you’ll discover it in a few hours as it peels off.”

^ this is all acceptable but god forbid someone rolls in with a foot fetish!! LIKE EWWWWWW FEEEEEET!!!!!!!! 

mimicmod
askbuttonsmom

Bad news: someone drank the vodka I was going to use for my cookies :’(

Good News: I’m a masterbaker and I can improvise. ;)

buttonmashthestache

I don’t… HIC! Know what yer… Talkin aboot…

askbuttonsmom

…you don’t know huh? Is this why you’ve been walking into the same wall in Call of Cutie for the past hour and shot half of your own team? -_____-

buttonmashthestache

Those Celestia damned… HIC! Fuckers… They called me a faggot, Mom! I just can’t deal with the p-pressure! CALL OF THE CUTIE MODERN LOVEFARE!

Source: askbuttonsmom

terashell asked:

post the recipe for those, please, miss, I have some liquor in the freezer I need to use up.

When I baked these I did so without a recipe, so here’s some approximate amounts. 

For Frosting Filling:

¼ cup of shortening or butter
3 tablespoons of eggnog OR heavy cream
½ teaspoon of salt
2 cups of powdered sugar

Mix this stuff up and round them out into separate ball shapes. Shove those in the freezer for about an hour to keep them from melting fast when they’re put inside the cookie. 

For cookie: 
1 egg
1 stick of butter
½ cup of white sugar
¼ cup of brown sugar
½ tablespoon vanilla
2 caps of Kaluah
1 tablespoon of eggnog
1 ¼ cups of flour
½ teaspoon of baking soda
¼ OR ½ teaspoon of baking powder depending on if you prefer crunchy or chewy
a few dashes of cinnamon
another few dashes of nutmeg
a TINY bit of salt


Mix the wet ingredients first. Mix the dry ingredients in a separate bowl and stir them in later.

The frozen frosting balls you made earlier should look something like this (mine are green because i added food coloring)

image

Tuck these frozen babies inside balls of cookie dough and pop them in the oven (350 degrees) for about 10-11minutes. If you have a muffin pan, it makes things easier and I wish i would’ve thought of such sooner.  > (\<