I’ve got less than 3 weeks to get my ass together before I ship off again on March 13th. So far, I’m at another standstill. The GI doctor gave me Amitiza to treat my constipation and low stomach motility. When he prescribed it, I was thinking “Perfect! A pill that’ll put an end to all this!” He said it would take 3 weeks to see results, which again i didnt care as long as it helped me. I’m drawing the line now because every day that i’ve taken it this week, I’ve gotten the worst vomiting and diarrhea. I called him and was like what gives! He said “Yeah thats a side effect. It usually goes away in a few wee-” I hung up.
Meanwhile, the dietician gave me these 5 supplements to take 3 times a day that are supposed to help the enzymes in my digestive tract get strong again. Results are slower than a medication because thats how natural supplements work. I wouldn’t mind taking these pills every day if they were chewable and not big ass capsules (i…uh…have never been able to swallow large pills due to my fear of choking). So I just end up crushing the tablets and opening the capsules to dump them into a shot of almond milk. The taste is gruesome and makes me gag. Keep in mind that my esophagus has undergone so much abuse that I have to swallow multiple times to get things down and keep them there, so the sensitive gag reflex is new.
MeanyMEAN-while, I got a call back from the endocrinologist (the one dealing with my high prolactin/lactation problem) with the results from the brain scan I did. They said they found a small cyst on my brain. They’re giving me medication to try to get rid of that too. For once, this is a med that has no effect on me other than fatigue, which is inconvenient, but doable.
So yeah. I’ve got 2 more things that I can try before I leave before I’m at the end of my rope. Get a colonoscopy and/or try out anxiety medication to see if it relaxes my throat a bit so I can swallow food without it coming back up into my nose. All of this is costing me an arm and a leg and a butthole….especially since I’m technically “jobless” til I get back on the ship. IF I can make it back on the ship.
I’m a little less worried about missing this ship-off date because now that I have 1 contract on my record and I’ve had good ratings with the guests, the hiring agents can always get me back working. I just wish I didnt have to tell them on such short notice if i’m unable to attend especially if i already confirmed I’d be there. I dont like going back on promises.
Today I sung a little song for the very lovely @askbuttonsmom. I don’t consider myself the best singer (I just like to sing when nobody is around lol) but all things considered I think it turned out…
:O !!!!!
That was beauuutiful!! Give yourself more credit sweetheart! Looking forward to this date ^ o^
“I’m lickin your SHIT!” Hahahaha! Very nice, Squirrel!! We’ve got another special somepony today! This makes me happy! Although it looks like I’m going to have to take all of you out at the same time. ^__^;;
Pardon me miss Mash. I am interested in singing with you this hearts and hooves day, but I am thinking about doing it in video format. It will still be me singing, but it will be accompanied by a video of myself singing it, would that be ok? I don't want to press against any boundaries that I might be aware of. Thank you again mam.
You can do anything you wish, the more creative the better! ^__^ Sounds fun! Link it to me when you’re done!
You can put it on your blog or upload here https://instaud.io/ and send me the link so I can post it :) (Make sure you have my audio track singing together with yours!)
LYRICS: Baby you’re the apple of my eye I’m always thinking bout you You’re always on my mind. And you know, it’s embarassing to say. But I wanna be your somepony for Hearts and Hooves day.
Oh I’d drag you to a diner to share a soda pop! Then I’d take a walk with you to my favorite candy shop. Then head to the movies to see a mushy flick Then afterwards I hope your ready cause im licking your stamps.
Now sweetie, I hope that you can see. That today should be all about you and me. And I’m glad, I’m glad that I can say I’m gonna be your mare And you can be my stallion! And we’ll be the perfect couple for Hearts and Hooves Day!
Hi sweethearts! It’s time to give a big big biiiiig thanks to those who donated to my Patreon this month! ^_____^
Patrons this month
Joshua (**top patron)
Ryan H.
Squirrel
Angel H.
C. Snowen
Shout out to Ledd Mettle for the chocolate package!
You all are really helping to keep this blog alive and healthy! (Literally, funds usually go into doctor visits to keep mod Lexxi strong.) All patrons this month get a free copy of The Best of Mom and Lexxi album and the usual big wet kiss from mommy~! *puckers up for those 5 people*
So I asked L*xxy about Everfree NW’s “Ponegathon” and she suddenly burst into tears. I still don’t understand what’s so hilarious about the word. This pony confuses me sometimes..
assertiveturtle said: I gotta say Ms. Mash, you are one hot mama. I have been a fan of yours for quite some time now and I just gotta know. Whats a strapping young stallion got to do to get with a mare like you?.
dude os, why do i care more bout how i look on a peace of paper then my actual welbeing? resumes resmues resumes resumes college colegge recomendation letters whas the point if im physsicly deteriaorating.? it not healthy Ambah!!!!
in 2016 this year il care a bit mroe about hwo my my body feels then stresing over where my body ggoes in th next 5yrs. goooo with the flllooooooow.
blah… mybody feel like pickles….i m more drained than spaghettie noodles, butt im craving toast. im so hugnry but i cant ea t with out throwing u p but im like staarving.ugggghhhh
So I was recording earlier to take my mind off the fact that I wanted to throw up again….it didn’t work and I just broke down crying while recording. Then my sister called me a few minutes later giving me 3hrs of advice, and she attempted to speak directly to my subconscious telling it to piss the fuck off and let me be well again. Every symptom i’m having is psychosemantic, meaning physical problems caused by the mind thinking it’s still sick. My doctor called it a form of PTSD stemming from an excessive amount of medical trauma. This is the hardest thing to battle because you cant just take a pill to make it go away like everything else. You NEED to tell your subconscious that you’re not sick and to stop making you feel sick.
My sister’s advice: Write down every potential worry that’s bothering me and answer each with “That’s bullshit!” and explain why it’s bullshit. This was what I came up with.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get through my audios today, but if I recorded in this mental state, none of it would be genuine. Please be patient with me while I figure shit out…
*sigh* this is the worst kind of sickness one can have. Negative physical responses caused by mental trauma. I can’t eat normally and I always have stomach aches.
Picture a young man doing badly at university, having only semi-voluntarily left most of his previous life behind because of nebulous reasons and lack of experience, sitting in front of an old, barely intact laptop in a city he doesn’t really know despite having lived there for over a year now.
This young man now browses around and stumbles over yet another pony video, the third time now, what the hell are these people thinking and what even is the deal. Being fed up with these ponies completely devoid of context, but still appearing at very random places, he looks up the show and wonders why it’s even online.
Claims of a male fanbase seemed implausible, had it not been for one tiny little detail: the main character being apparently a Only Sane Man kind of grouch in a Sugar Bowl of a setting. It sounded at least humorous, and the young man probably needed some cheering up.
So he gave the show a chance, the classic three episodes to wow. But after three episodes, he wasn’t wowed. But somehow, he had to be really sure he didn’t like it, so another episode followed. And another one. And another one. Suddenly he found himself laughing his ass off at Big Macintosh and Cheerilee being close to marrying - and then nothing. Turns out he caught up.
The worst fear crept in: He might actually like the show! He pondered;
“What do I do now that I like the show? How do I tell anyone?”
A video helpfully pointed out how to reach out to a community of similar minded people, and it just so turned out that the local community was holding a meetup only a few days from thence. So he decided to join in.
At the meetup, a circle of men laughing caught his eye. Those were the others? They must have been. they stood out, amongst the hurried strides of busy travellers in the big train hall. He walked towards them, unsure of how to greet them or introduce himself. The circle immediately opened; an event he did not anticipate, much less had been used to. A short round of introductions, his rather uninspired and unrelated secret identity making way for a very catchy nickname quickly, and the congregation moved to the nearest source of plastic figurines in the shape of colourful mythical creatures. Twenty-two men raided a little train station shop, merely to buy a box of ponies. There, the young man was unsure of how to behave - he didn’t seem to be that much into the show, and much more importantly, the figures didn’t quite convince him. But he wanted to support the show at least in some way, so one figure he got. A glittery blue unicorn with an hourglass for a cutie mark; the least visually offensive in this wave in his eyes. How would this figure shape his future perception of who truly made for best pony, he did not know at the time.
The meetup having been excruciating amounts of fun, he stayed with the community. And the next meetup, one particular man mentioned Banned from Equestria. He would turn out to become the possibly closest friend of our protagonist within record time, and despite the initial reservations - “It’s ponies, doesn’t that make it somehow wrong?” - He did take a look, for the lulz. And then he found some very subtly alluring pictures amidst the apparently dirty material. And somehow, the prospect of a cute little mare’s face on just crotch height snugging up to his loins and using the additional centimetres her muzzle provided for mouthhugs fired him up like only few fantasies before. And suddenly, the young man found himself searching for enticing pictures of ponies.
Years later, many things changed, but even despite some less enjoyable events, the young man knows he wouldn’t miss My Little Pony - and clop, for that matter - for the world.
He even wrote a Daring Do clopfic, how nice is that?
tl;dr: I gave the show a chance, have a thing for oral and now I like the plots.